Changing dreams. Do you have a childhood dream that has remained unrealized? You shouldn’t look at this as failure. No. Instead, there may be a good reason it was never realized. Rather than failure, this reason probably has more to do with personal choice and the decision to follow another path.
If you ask a child what they want to be when they grow up, you’ll often receive answers that have no limitations. You will hear answers like; astronaut, president, (I wanted to become an Olympic Gold Medalist in gymnastics), etc. However, as a child ages, negative experiences erode confidence levels and unexpected hurdles or opportunities shift priorities. The result? Many adults find their childhood dreams, once so unwavering, go unrealized. It’s ok to have changing dreams.
A Different Path
Lately, I have thought about all those childhood dreams I had and what happened to them. Maybe this has occurred to you as well. You may have achieved the occupation of being a nurse, but maybe you didn’t achieve something else.
Maybe you have also heard the expression, “it’s never too late” when you consider unfulfilled dreams. However, I think it’s worth considering another possibility: maybe it’s too late to follow that particular dream. Maybe, there was a good reason that it was never realized – one that had nothing to do with failure and far more to do with personal choice and a decision to follow a different path.
When traversing our path in life, we often become a different person with fresh passions. It might be that the dream you held onto is now outdated and ready for an “upgrade”. The thing about childhood dreams is they rarely keep up with our personal growth. After all, as you go through life, it’s quite impossible not to change. Therefore, why should goals you set when you are six remain the same?
About 15 years ago, I began going through the roughest decade of my life. An unexpected and devastating divorce, the realization that I would never have children of my own, and financial hardships hit me all at once.
It was during this time that I struggled with who I actually was, where my life was going, and if I wanted to fight my way out of it. My answer came to me one day during the most difficult part of my struggle…I wasn’t who I was before, I needed to change, and I needed to identify a new path to a new dream. I also realized that I was a much stronger and determined person than I was at age six.
I kid you not, the struggles I endured where horrifying at times. However, it was through these struggles that I was able to rediscover myself, reevaluate my dreams, goals, vision and values. I truly “checked-in” with myself and stopped trying to validate my life by the lives of others. And there I find the real “me”. So what if I couldn’t have children? Not every woman can or does have children. It wasn’t to be part of my path in life. So what if I had a failed marriage? Obviously, that man wasn’t part of my life’s path either. And as far as financial matters go, it was just money…and I wouldn’t struggle forever, because money was out there to be made and it would come to me again.
The Past Is The Past
It is amazing to me how much time I wasted on perceiving myself in the past instead of the present. I was allowing my inability to have a child, my failure at marriage, and the financial situation infertility and divorce had put me in to define my present and future. All the things an ex-husband had said and done to me were so firmly implanted in my being that for a long time, I could not stop letting it imprint on my life.
Then, it happened. I woke up one day and looked in the bathroom mirror. The woman peering back at me was not the woman I thought she was. She was better than I thought. That woman was me and I hadn’t seen her in a long, long time. She was much better than I had let everyone tell me she was. From that moment on I became that woman, the real me. My life started to change in that very moment. I was changing dreams and changing the vision I had of myself. I was on the right path and I knew it.
Passion and Joy
How do you figure out if your childhood dreams are still relevant or if you need a new path? I believe the answer lies in self-alignment. You must align your thinking with what you value most deeply, who you are right now, and the life that you are choosing to live right now. Also, you must make choices from deep inside the real you. Those passions and dreams that are deep within you heart that bring you joy – that’s the right path and the real you.
Reevaluate And Go For It
Feel a little lost, like I did? Not sure how to find the real you and realign your dreams? The first place to start, as I mentioned earlier, is personal alignment. Concentrate on who you truly are and where your life currently is. Does it tie into an old dream you had, or is it no longer relevant?
Next, try “stepping stones” as I call it. If you find that you have a new dream, or an old one you still want to realize create some stepping stones to help you get to a long-term goal by breaking it up into smaller steps. Along with your stepping stones, incorporate a 90-day plan. As you progress, re-write this 90-day plan, every 90 days. This really works.
Remember: It’s ok to have changing dreams or even dreams that remain the same, but with a new sense of discovery along a new path. Although the destination may be sweet, it’s all about the journey.
Until next time, keep running on Concealer & Caffeine (my blog)!
Paula B. – Owner/Creator
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